Thursday, July 21, 2016


Dear Reader,

Myself (right) and my lover Christina
This is Marc's Mistress, Isabel. Marc was picked up earlier today by his new owner, a woman I know and respect as an especially sadistic dominant. He's in for an ugly ride.

I had a feeling about Marc when I met him for the first time at the club. He wanted to get to know me so desperately. He's a good looking guy and might have been a good husband to Val or Kim or any of the other women whom I know had a crush on him.

Val loved him and would have been a very good wife to him, and he never realized it. Kim would have done anything for him, and he threw her away like chattel.

Well, he is now being truly used as chattel. He deserves it, like most men.

It was fun slowly tearing Marc apart, watching him descend into utter depravity. I have to say I enjoyed the times we had together when he wriggled in pain and begged for mercy, and yet came back for more.

But, all good things come to an end.

As a wise philosopher has said, it is the journey, not the arrival that matters.

Respectfully Submitted,

Isabel Ferrier


I've been sold.

Mistress has no use for me any more.

I want to die. I do not want to go to this new woman. I want to stay with Mistress and serve her. But, I have no choice. There is no way I can kill myself, I am kept chained or caged or tied all the time.

New mistress might do nasty things to my body, that Mistress didn't. She might castrate me, or remove my penis. She might make me eat disgusting things, or hurt myself for her pleasure. I know I won't have any choice. I am steeling myself for whatever I may need to do.

When she told me, Mistress seemed bored with me. This hurt me. All I have ever wanted was to please Isabel.

I asked her a few things, frankly, and openly. She answered in very open terms, I think because my time with her has come to an end.

"Mistress, did you always know you were going to make me your slave? Was it your plan all along?"

"Of course, Marc. I hate men. I derive great enjoyment out of using them, promising them lust and pleasure and all the things they hope for, and then slowly demeaning them and destroying them, just as I have destroyed you."

"So... you never loved me?"

"No. I loved stretching and pulling and tearing your mind apart, and then rebuilding it as a disgusting submissive slave. But you? You are nothing by a toy."

I knew this by now, but it was hard to hear.

"How many men have you done this to?"

"Destroyed utterly? You are the sixth. Scott will be the seventh. He's coming along nicely. I kneed him in the balls the other night, and he never missed a beat. Came right back the next night."

I remembered the first time Isabel had kneed me in the groin, and how I had come back the next night.

"That was a test, wasn't it? Part of what you do?"

"Of course. Once I think a man is a serious candidate for destruction, I kick him in the balls for some reason or other. If I can get him to come back and c
ontinue the relationship... well, it's all over at that point. A foregone conclusion. If not, I need waste no more time on him."

"You kicked me in the balls on our first real date."

Isabel smiled at the memory. "Yes... you came along more quickly than most."

"Isabel, how long have you been doing this?"

"Oh, I think I started when I was about 12 or 13. I started small, of course. My first boyfriend was 16 and I was 12, He didn't know how young I was, I matured early and was very sexually developed for the age. When he discovered my age, he was terrified I would tell on him. I was able to get him to really do some great things for me. He paid for clothes, bought me jewelry, and eventually I got him to do humiliating things for me. It lasted about six months, after which I told his parents he had been fucking me. His life was destroyed after that."

"It really felt good to watch him slowly go down in flames, and I decided to try it with another guy. When I was 14, I started dating another guy, the captain of the high school football team. It took about two months before I had him under my thumb. At the end of my sophomore year of school I squashed him. I started seeing his sister, and I remember making him watch us make love. That was when I realized I really preferred women, and that the only use I had for men was to humiliate. He left high school, and committed suicide during his first year of college."

I listened to this, and realized just what an evil bitch Isabel is.

"How much are you selling me for?"

"We negotiated a price of $110,000. Not bad, don't you think? Though it is worth it for her. She uses her slaves hard, and it is worth it to have one that is totally broken, like you."

It doesn't matter that I write this now. My new Mistress, a woman named Chloe, will be picking me up tomorrow. My life with Mistress is over. It lasted just over a year. What is she going to do to me? Kill me? I would welcome that.

Time to go to my cage. My last night in this house. This cage that has been my home will soon be Scott's home and Isabel will achieve the destruction of another man's life.

Goodbye, Mistress Isabel. I love you.

Monday, June 20, 2016

Being Replaced

Mistress is thinking of selling me.

She told me this. She has done with me. I have served my purpose, and have no purpose for her any more. This hurts me to the bottom of my soul. I have given myself to her. I gave up my job, my friends, my family, my car, my house... everything. My entire life is now hers.

And she is going to sell me, cast me aside like a used car.

I know what is happening. For the last few weeks she has been seeing a man named Scott. Mistress locks me in the basement when he comes over, but I know what is happening. Sometimes I can even hear them.

They have sex in her bedroom, or in the living room. Or the kitchen, or balcony, in public view. He comes over and cooks for her, and takes her out where ever she wants to go. Their relationship is passionate, though I am sure she is demanding and unforgiving. She uses her money, looks, sensuality, and body to entice and control Scott.

It is just like me, when I first started seeing Isabel.

I've been there when she calls Scott, and I hear what she says to him. She schedules his time, demands his attention, directs him to take her places. She instructs him what to wear. It all sounds like she is simply a strong, opinionated woman that is dating a man, but I know. I've been there. I know what is happening.

She is grooming him, this new man. Slowly making him more and more submissive to her. Just like she did with me.

I have not seen Scott, but I have heard the two of them fucking in her bedroom. She is demanding of him, and he loves it.

It is too late for me. I have lost everything and am now nothing, have nothing. I listen to them fucking, and remember when Isabel and I first started dating. When she used to let me inside her.

There have been several women over in recent days to look at me. I don't know if they are bidding for me, or if there is a set price, but I know they are evaluating me for potential purchase.

It will kill me to leave Mistress.

The woman look me over. Mistress has a stand she uses for the examination. It is simple, it is a post that sticks up to about my waist and has a clamp at the top. She places my pain sack in this clamp and secures me there. I am forced to stand in one place while the women look at me. The stand is high enough I must stand on my tip-toes or have it pull painfully on my testicles. My legs are also locked into place at the bottom of the stand.

The last time I was put on display, I was clamped to the stand in reverse position; my balls pulled up between my legs. This position was incredibly painful; I think the woman who was there to examine me wanted to see me in pain. I hope she is not the one who buys me.

When one of the women is truly interested in me, Mistress releases me from the stand and the woman will try me out. Sometimes they will torture me to see how I react. Sometimes they make me perform household duties. One woman put me through paces where she required that I perform disgusting acts to prove my obedience. I drank piss, licked the toilet, urinated on myself, masturbated into a glass and then drank it.

The worst part-- I was instructed to nail my testicles, my pain balls, to a board to show my obedience skills. This was very hard. The nails were not large and were sharp so they went through my flesh easily. Still, it hurt horribly, and when I had finished hammering I had attached myself, nailed myself to a board.

This pleased Mistress and the buyer, but my tears from the pain pleased them most of all.

I think having me nail myself to the board was the worst part. I was instructed to hurt myself, and I did it.

Of course, removing the nails hurt as badly or worse.

This woman, the one that made me nail myself, seems interested in me. She might buy me. I am afraid. She is a good looking woman in her mid 30s, but has a very strict, uncompromising attitude. Being her slave would be difficult, even though Mistress has trained me well.

Scott is coming over tonight and I will have to listen to Isabel, my Mistress, fucking him again.

Listening to it makes me remember the time when I shared Isabel's bed; when I was inside her.

How naive he is.

Monday, June 13, 2016

The Test

Mistress had several of her friends over last night.

Val was there, my ex. She hates me now, and delights at seeing me degraded. She has hurt me twice with Mistress's permission.

I used to fuck Val, when we were together. She was maybe the sexiest girl I've ever dated, except for Mistress Isabel. I cheated on Isabel with Val, and was punished severely for the indiscretion. Val used to beg me to spend more time with her, and even to sleep with her.

Val was good in bed, very good. I loved to fuck her. In fact, I think I have fucked Val more than I ever fucked Mistress Isabel; Mistress does not like it when I fuck her and does not allow it any more.

Mistress seduced Val and they are sometimes lovers. Mistress enjoys having sex with Val in front of me, to remind me that Val is no longer mind, but has become Mistress's toy. Sometimes I see Mistress inserting her fingers into Val's pussy, and I remember what it felt like when my cock slipped inside the same place.

I think Mistress is also trying to tell me that I will never have sex again. She's taken that from me, along with everything else in my life.

Now Val sometimes asks permission to hurt me. Mistress always says yes, and Val will grab my balls and squeeze as hard as she can, until I think they are going to burst and scream out. She laughs then. I loved Val. Now she hurts me, physically, whenever she can.

There were several other girls over at Mistress's house last night, most of them lovers of Mistress. In addition to Val, Lucy, Amy and Jenn were there. Jenn is kind to me; she once warned me that Mistress would dominate me and take my life away from me. I didn't understand what she meant back then, now I do and it is too late. I am a slave.

After the party was well under way, Mistress Isabel brought me out to stand in front of all her girlfriends. I was put on display. Val asked to hurt me, and Mistress said all right.

I was in chastity, as I commonly am these days. Val had a particularly nasty idea to hurt me. She harbors some deep grudges about the way I treated her when we were dating, and Mistress Isabel has taught her how it is OK to hate and even hurt men.

Val got some Tabasco sauce from Mistress's kitchen, and poured some into my chastity cage. It is a plastic sheath that goes over my cock, enclosing it and preventing anything from touching or stimulating it. When she pour the hot sauce into my plastic sheath, it spread over my cock and began to burn.

The sauce had nowhere to go. The chastity device kept it in place, so my cock sort of marinated in the painful liquid. It quickly began to burn, and tears came to my eyes. I asked for permission to have my chastity removed so I could wash the hot sauce off, but Mistress Isabel denied the request.

I literally danced in front of the women, my cock burning as if it were on fire. Tears trickled down my cheeks, and Val was extremely happy with the pain I was experiencing. She enjoyed it so much. It was humiliating as well as painful.

Finally, Mistress took mercy on me. She said she would remove the chastity, but only after I demonstrated complete obedience to her.

 Mistress handed me a plastic bag. It was like a large food storage bag. I stood in front of the women and took the bag.

"Place the bag over your head," she said.

I pulled it over my head. I could see the women looking at me, though the image was distorted by the plastic. The air inside was sort of humid from my breath and the plastic fogged slightly.

Mistress handed me some tape.

"Wrap that around your neck. Seal off the bottom of the bag."

I took the tape and wrapped it around my neck. As I did so, the baggie was sealed off, and no new air could get in. Mistress was having me suffocate myself. I felt like panicking, but forced myself to do as I was told. My cock was rigid hard during this whole thing.

"Several times, then rip off the end and give me the rest of the tape roll."

I did as she said, wrapping the tape tightly around my neck, perhaps 5 or 6 times. It was sealed tightly and the plastic bag was expanding and contracting as I breathed. I handed the tape to Mistress.

"Kneel," Mistress said. I knelt. She came over and as I gasped, breathing air that was slowly losing its oxygen, she caressed my face and kissed my lips through the plastic.

"My love," she said. Those two words made me feel so amazingly good. She has never said anything like that before. Mistress Isabel, my girlfriend, my mistress, my owner, has never said she loved me. Until that moment, as I was gasping for air. I think she did love me then, or at least, loved that I was slowly dying for her.

She returned to the sofa to watch with the other girls. They were fingering each other, using mutual masturbation. My suffering was a delight to them. My cock was burning, the hot sauce leaking down onto my scrotum and setting it on fire as well.

Not all the girls were masturbating, but several of them were. My pain was sexually arousing them. Do you know how awful, how humiliating it is to have girls actively masturbating while watching you suffer? As if your pain was a dildo or vibrator that got them off?  This had happened to me before, but this was one of the worst examples of it. My genitals were burning, my breathing restricted and I began to see black dots as I gasped.

My pain and distress simply made the women more aroused.

I panted, my breath coming in and out quickly. I sucked the air in, but the plastic just collapsed over my mouth. There was air, but it did nothing. My whole body was screaming out for air, for oxygen.

My hands were free. I could have ripped the tape off at any time, started breathing again, though my cock would have continued to burn. But Mistress had not given me permission, so I simply struggled to stay conscious as long as I could.

Finally the black spots covered my vision and there was nothing.

I woke to the feeling of Mistress slapping my face painfully. I was laying on the ground, the baggie off and Mistress straddling my chest.

I could breathe again. She had taken the bag off when I had lost consciousness and gotten my breathing going again. Soon after she removed my chastity and told me to wash off the Tabasco sauce. It was difficult, I was still shaky from lack of air, but I managed.

Today she explained this was a test. She had wanted to see if I was truly obedient. I passed the test, I guess.

This made me very proud. I have shown Mistress that she can count on my obedience in any way, to do anything, even if it means my own death.

Friday, June 10, 2016


When will it end?

When I first started dating Mistress Isabel, she had treated me poorly, but I was her boyfriend. We went on dates. We had sex. There were good, romantic times.

It slowly went downhill, and I have lost little bits of my humanity and free will. Just when I think I have been degraded and lowered to rock bottom, Mistress shows me that I have further to go. It scares me that I have not reached the ultimate in surrender and slavery, because I don't know what else might come.

Two weeks ago Mistress decided to rent me out.

She has a number of friends, women who are as sadistic as she is. I can say Mistress is sadistic, she reads this blog and reviews it, and she has admitted that she is sadistic and is even proud of it.

So, Mistress decided to let a few of her more sadistic friends rent me, to do as they pleased. I don't know how much I was rented for, she didn't tell me. But I do know she charged her girlfriends for the privilege of humiliating and hurting me.

Two weeks ago I was locked in the basement, in the cage, when Mistress came down with someone else. Her name was Mary. What a nice name, Mary. Mary was pretty, and nice, and intelligent, and was very interested in seeing me. Mary also was a very controlling, serious dominant woman.

I could tell she was seriously dominant by just looking at her.

I will admit she turned me on. She was very much like Mistress in many ways. Just seeing her made my cock swell.

The two women discussed me as I sat helpless in my cage. Having the two of them discuss me, everything from my bowel habits to my ability to withstand pain, to my tendency to cry when humiliated... well, it all was incredibly humiliating.

When they were done, I was released from the cage, a leash put on me and I was guided upstairs. As I was led to the front door Mistress informed me that Mary would be taking me for the next day. I was to obey her exactly and precisely, just as I would Mistress.

She also told me I could expect to be punished severely. Not for any reason, but simply as Mary desired it.

My role was to suffer for Mary's pleasure.

Oh, Mary. She is a sadist. She put me through hell.

I was transported to her place in the trunk of her car. Arriving at her place took maybe an hour. She opened the trunk and I saw I was on a large, open ranch area, probably north of LA though I couldn't tell. There were trees and fields surrounding her house, as well as a barn.

I was taken to the barn and strapped into place.

Against a wall. Legs spread, arms in back. The chain holing my arms was pulled up, as high as my shoulders, and then higher. It hurt. I cramped. My back cramped and I was forced to bend over.

Mistress Mary left me there for an hour. I've had more painful things done at Mistress's Isabel's house, but this was still painful.

When Mary came back, walked up to me and without warning her foot swung out and she kicked me in the balls.

Oh man, it hurt. I wasn't able to move to protect myself, or even curl up from the pain, my legs were strapped wide apart, my arms tied behind so all I did was yell, moan, and then vomit on the ground from the pain.

This did not please Mistress Mary, and she swore.

Mistress Mary let me down from my place on the wall and dragged me out to an open area outside.

It has been months since I have been outside; usually I am in the basement, with some time spent in Mistress's house. But never outside. This was so different... so weird. Being outside, and being naked.

She hung me from a hook and pulley hanging from the roof structure. She pulled me up. Strapped my legs apart once again.

I hung there, arms above me, hanging from them, my legs spread wide apart.

My cock and balls dangled there, helpless, exposed. I knew what was coming. There was nothing I could do about it.

Mistress Mary is so sexy, so gorgeous; she wore high heeled, high laced boots that came almost to her knees. She is light, and skinny, and perfect in so many ways.

And she stood in front of me, and kicked me. Right between the legs, in my balls.  Hard.

She didn't stop, either. I grunted, moaned, even screamed.  There was no one around for miles, I knew it. My screams would go unanswered.

Whack, whack, whack. Over and over again Mistress Mary kicked my genitals. I could not protect them, my legs were pulled wide apart. I was hanging a foot or two above the floor by my arms.

All I could do was suffer.

Honestly, I thought for a while my balls had burst, that they had either been crushed or ruptured. The pain was so bad I couldn't see straight and just screamed.

I didn't know where I was. I didn't know anything except I was tied, exposed, and in massive pain.

Mistress Mary finally stopped, though I am not sure I knew when she stopped. The pain didn't stop just because she stopped kicking me. It went on and on... but slowly, very slowly receded.

I hung in place there, wondering what would happen to me. My head sagged down. I finally stopped crying. Mary was nowhere to be seen.

The sun was setting by the time she came again. She had a friend with her. They were very amorous; she and her girlfriend. They had obviously been out enjoying each other's company as I hung in the open, trying to recover from the ball busting I had received.

Mary and her friend prepared me for the night. I was not to be allowed in the house, or even the barn.  They dragged me a short way and lay me on the ground. Mary's friend pounded stakes into the ground at various locations around where I lay.

I begged Mistress Mary at that point, asking that she have mercy on me. Her face looked kind. She seemed to be a kind person. She was cute, pretty, and from the outside she should have reacted to my appeals.

Mary was not kind. She was a sadist. She simply reminded me that she had paid good money to have me and for the right to make me suffer in whatever way she pleased. And she was going to see me suffer.

The two of them tied my wrists and ankles to the stakes. This spread me wide, once again opening all areas of my body to inspection and invasion.

Special stakes were placed at my knees to push them further out, making my genitals especially easy to see and get to.

Mary's friend (I never knew her name) then produced a bottle and poured a thick, sticky substance over my hips, making sure my cock, balls, and anus were thoroughly covered. It wasn't honey, I don't think... but it was something like that because it attracted bugs. Flies, and bees, and especially ants. Fire ants.

Before long I was screaming from the constant biting and stinging that was going on, especially in my anus where the ants appeared to be swarming.

In response to my screams, Mary took two blocks of wood and pressed my balls together with them, tying them together so my testicles were pressed hard, smashed and bulging.

I was left there for the night.

I think I stopped screaming around midnight. The bugs seemed to be more efficient in the exploration of my body, and were simply feeding from the goo spread all over me. I was incredibly sore, and itched so badly I struggled and yanked against the stakes, though I could not get free. Instead of screaming I sobbed.

That night was like a lifetime, it went so slowly.

The next morning, early, Mistress Mary and her girlfriend came and checked on me. They examined my crushed balls, and the red welts left by the bugs that swarmed over my hips and anus. They discussed what types of bugs they were, and speculated the level of pain I experienced.

Later that morning I was taken to a tree and hung by my wrists. Mistress Mary's friend sat reading on a comfortable chair with a beer as I hung naked next to her, swaying in the breeze. She liked to play with my genitals, checking on the stings and red welts from the ants.

She stroked me. As if she was going to get me off, have me cum. I tried to cooperate, pushing against her hand as she stroked but she slapped me, telling me I was a disgusting pervert.

The day with Mary was more concentrated humiliation and pain than I had ever had. Perhaps because they were renting me, they abused and hurt me almost full time. The limited amount of time they had meant they had to destroy me quickly.

Their last act of humiliation and pain was to peg me in the forest.

I was dragged to a large log.

My feet were ragged and bloody from walking over the forest ground without shoes, but that didn't even slow the two women down. They bent me over the log, Mary holding my arms out and her friend with a huge strapon behind me.

She buggered me for a half hour, and then switched with her friend. I could tell it had ripped and torn my asshole, because after a short bit the dildo was slippery wet and sliding with the blood.

As they pegged me from behind, my hardened cock fucked the log underneath me. It felt horrible; raspy and rough, but I fucked it and I came. My sperm spread over the dead bark as Mary fucked my ass and pushed my body back and forth.

I was returned to Mistress Isabel, who looked me over and laughed about how badly I had been treated. She kindly gave me an aspirin and a couple of bandages for the worst spots, then locked me in my cage again.

Two days later I was rented out again. Apparently there are a number of very sadistic dominant women in Hollywood and west LA who will pay for the privilege of really hurting a submissive, destroyed man.

The experience was terrifying. I don't know who the woman was, I had never seen her before. I overheard that her name was Liz.

Being rented out makes me feel like a worthless piece of meat. The woman who rent me want me simply to abuse and suffer. There is no servicing, no worship such as I have with Mistress. When she rents me out, I lose even the small amount of dignity I have with her.

Liz took me to her house and immediately began abusing me. From the garage she dragged me into her house by my leash, so hard and fast there was no way I could keep up. I was dragged on the floor and when I couldn't get back up, she kicked me.

Her boots were heavy leather boots with pointed toes and heels. Her kick jabbed deep into my ribs and then stomach. I fell down on the ground with the pain as Liz laughed.

As I lay on the floor Liz grabbed my testicles from behind and pulled them way back. I yelped in pain and my ass lifted into the air, trying to relieve the pull and pressure on my balls.

She clamped two pieces of wood onto my scrotum. A humbler. Designed to pull and yank the testicles behind, essentially forcing me to stay bent over at all times. I yelped again with pain, and started sobbing.

"Please, please, Mistress Liz, I am being a good boy! I will do anything you like, I will clean, or cook. I can pleasure you expertly, Mistress has taught me how. Please don't damage my balls..."

My begging seemed to excite her. She left me in position for a little while and when she returned she was wearing a huge strapon.

"On the table," Liz demanded. My cock was hard as I climbed up and lay bent over on the table.

"Please have mercy. Don't make me bleed, I beg you!"

She took the large dildo and I felt it ramming into my asshole. I did my best to relax, or the pain would be worse. As it was, it was bad. The dildo spread my anus wide and she pushed hard with her hips until it was rammed well into my lower intestine.

Then she fucked me. Ramming the artificial cock in and out, sliding it and pushing it in. I grunted, moaned. I had stopped pleading with her, because it seemed to just make her more excited, and more cruel.

"I need something to hold on to here..." Mistress Liz pulled out of my ass and went to get something, which turned out to be a bit gag. She put it on and I immediately started drooling into a puddle on the table. I hate gags.

Mistress Liz resumed fucking my ass. She had tied a leather strap to my bit gag and could use it rather like reins. She held on to it and pulled on it while she was ramming into my ass. She instructed me as she pushed.

"Fuck the table. Get your cock up on the table and fuck it while I fuck you."

I pulled my cock up onto the table surface, and with each thrust of the strapon my cock rubbed against the surface of the table.

Mistress Liz fucked me for a while, and I fucked the hard table surface, and eventually I came. I spurt my semen all over that table, and then smeared it under my stomach as she continued to ram the strapon into my ass.

After a long time of getting my ass reamed, Liz had me do some household chores.

"Clean the tile. Use this sponge, and be glad I am not making you do it with your tongue!"

I did as I was told, grateful that I was given work to do. Mistress Liz was a very strict dominant and she scared me. I was already bruised and hurting from my first few hours under her "care".

Needless to say, she was not satisfied with the job I did on her floors. She flogged me.

To flog me she took me outside and bent me over a chair on her porch. I had to hang on to the legs of the chair, and its back rammed up into my stomach, lifting my ass up. Liz took a flexible switch and stroked my ass and back, over and over.

I have to be honest. My cock was hard. And I sneaked looks at Mistress Liz. Liz is gorgeous; a large busted, beautiful dark haired woman. Her face is gorgeous, and I saw that it seemed even more beautiful when it was angry and she was enjoying hurting me.

I was still wearing the humbler, which kept me bent over. It also had the effect of pulling my balls out behind me, so they were bulging and available when I was leaning over the chair.

Mistress Liz took the opportunity to whip my balls, striking them over and over.

Pain from the testicles starts right there, but it spreads quickly to the stomach and hips. Within a minute the entire bottom half of my body was aching and I thought I would vomit from the pain.

The evening came; Mistress Liz had rented me until midnight. Apparently, Mistress Isabel was charging a lot for the opportunity for her lesbian friends to beat the crap out of me.

After dinner, Mistress Liz pegged me again, but this time in a slower, more leisurely manner. She had me crawl into her bedroom and told me we were going to have sex. I wasn't naive enough to think she was going to let my cock inside her body.

She stripped her top off and made me get on my knees on the bed, ass up in the air. She slid the artificial cock up my ass and fucked me slow.

My ass had been so thoroughly reamed by this point, it didn't matter what she did to it, it would hurt.

She demanded that I cum.

The thing was, my hands were cuffed behind my back. She was pegging me, but it just hurt. My cock was hard, but there was nothing to stimulate it. There was no way I was going to be able to cum.

But she demanded. Repeatedly. She was fucking me, and she demanded that I ejaculate on the towel she had put beneath me.  I couldn't do it.

This enraged Mistress Liz. She took me into her garage and found a long single tail whip that she used and she hit me as hard as she could with it.

Over and over again she whipped me.

Every inch of my naked body was in pain.

Mistress Liz is strong, and she used her strength. She put her body and strength into each stroke. I was on my hands and knees as she whipped me, and tried to crawl away.

She stopped my with my leash. My collar and leash kept me within striking distance. The whipping continued.

Liz swore and told me what a worthless cunt I was the entire time. She said she was disappointed in me, that she wondered why Isabel had not castrated me a long time ago. She called me a piece of meat, and said she would tenderize me.

This went on for some time. I had never received such a harsh whipping from Mistress Isabel. Finally, I had no strength left and I simply lay down on the garage floor and curled up, trying to protect as much of my body as I could.

Mistress Liz kept whacking away at me. She was grunting with the effort of each stroke. It reminded one of a weight lifter, straining to put all their muscle behind the lift.

Mistress Liz finally stopped the whipping. I was on the ground sobbing, unable to move. Mistress Liz was panting, but very happy. She said I had provided a good workout for her and that at least I had shown I had some purpose. Even if it was simply as a punching back.

I lay on the cold concrete floor, slowly recovering from the worst whipping of my life. I knew I had been scourged badly, and my back and sides and legs and even arms were a bloody mess.

Mistress Liz was not interested in me in any real way. I was simply a male body that she could torture and she got off on that. Renting me had simply been a way of getting her sadistic impulses an expression.

I thanked god I was not her slave.

When Mistress Isabel got me and took me back, she examined my body. I was ragged with whip wounds. She gave me a salve that would help them heal, but didn't seem concerned.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Eating My Own Cum

Mistress Isabel
Mistress torments me. I sometimes believe I have reached rock bottom, but I know it is not true.

She has ways of making me feel like a useless animal, lower than a dog. Certainly, I am treated in ways that no dog would ever be treated.

I try hard to accept, to simply obey and focus on nothing but Mistress Isabel, her desires, her pleasure, her comfort. My body is to be used by her in any way she pleases. I accepted this a long time ago and work every day to make it true in every sense.

I am nothing, less than nothing, unless I am giving Mistress pleasure and obeying her commands.

Mistress has recently decided I should be eating my own cum. Any orgasm I have, every time I ejaculate semen, it is to be saved and used. I am to recycle my cum for Mistress, under her supervision.

The advantage to this is that I do get to cum. I am not in chastity, and I have orgasms. The disadvantage is that I am consuming my own body fluids all the time now.

Frequently she will have me wear a condom when I am punished. I am always hard, of course, and when she punishes me I tend to get harder.  When she whips me, or buggers me, or crushes my balls, it doesn't take much to tip me over the edge and emit semen.

Sometimes she will also demand that I simply masturbate for her, often on my hands and knees or some other submissive stance.

Either way, whenever I cum, I will cum into a condom. I must then wear the soiled condom until she is ready for me to eat my body fluid. She will then removed the condom from my penis, and orders me to raise my head, my face up.

The condom is then placed above me, and she squeezes the semen back out, running her fingers down the length to push the white fluid out into my mouth.

If she wants to be very thorough, I am ordered to take the condom into my mouth and suck it dry.

I've gotten used to the taste, I suppose, but the process is just humiliating.

Mistress says she does this because before I met her I demanded that women suck me off and that they swallow. She pointed out that every one of my girlfriends had swallowed my cum at some point in the past.

She is right. I did do that. My girlfriends would give me blow jobs, suck me off, and when I came, I would sometimes come on their face, and sometimes inside their mouth. I demanded they roll my cum around, show it to me in their wide open mouth, then swallow.

Now, Mistress is doing the same to me. Justice, she says.

It's disgusting.

Three days ago she had a group of friends over. I know some of these friends, including my ex Val, and sister Diane. I was invited to join the group, a great privilege.

I served them coffee, then sat down. Each of the women prepared their coffee the way they liked, with cream, or sugar, or black.

Mistress insisted that I have cream in mine. She took my cock in her hand while the group watched and made me ejaculate semen into my coffee. That was humiliating enough, especially in front of my sister. But then, she made me drink the coffee.

Val and Diane wouldn't look at me as I sat in the dining room, drinking my semen laced coffee.

Diane won't look at me in general. She doesn't recognize my existence any more. Val looks at me and laughs, usually. I was cruel to her, breaking up with her in order to be with Mistress Isabel, and now she sees me as a worthless slave. I've degraded myself, and she thanks heaven that she didn't stay with me. I am worthless.

For some time, Mistress has demanded that I eat my cum, and has even begun to demand that I do it as part of the masturbation process itself.  In other words, that I consume my own cum as soon as it comes out of my penis.

In order to do this, I have learned the proper position, on my back and shoulders, hips high up in the air so my cock can position itself directly above my mouth.

It is difficult to cum in this position, but Mistress can force me to do it. She stimulates my penis until my muscles contract and I push out the semen, with spurts out and down. Mistress holds my penis and points it toward my mouth, which I keep open. The semen goes right in.

It also gets all over my face, because that is not a completely accurate method. But it's close.

However, Mistress wanted to see if I could get it all. This meant trying to give myself a true blow job, to actually bend over enough that I could take my cock into my own mouth.

This is incredibly hard, and it hurts. Mistress pushed down on my hips, and my back cramped but we managed to do it. I could only get the head of my cock into my mouth but that is enough to stimulate myself to ejaculate semen for Mistress.

I've eaten cock at Mistress's demand, several times. I hate it, I am not gay and I don't like cock in my mouth.

I don't even like my own cock in my mouth. It reminds me of other times when Mistress has forced me to engage in homosexual acts. It's humiliating, and it is topped off by gulping down my own sticky white body fluid when I finally cum inside my own mouth.

In recent weeks Mistress has also begun a ritual to save my semen. She does not force me to eat it right then, when I ejaculate. Instead, she milks my cock and I ejaculate into a cup or plate.  At first I didn't know what she did with the semen, just that she kept it.

I don't know why, but ejaculating at Mistress's command for the purposes of milking semen out of me doesn't feel good. I mean, the orgasm feels good I suppose, but the process is so humiliating and I feel like I am just an animal being milked, like a cow. It takes much of the pleasure away.

Two weeks ago Mistress Isabel began milking me as much as possible. This meant three, four times a day. She would have me on all fours and jerk my cock until I spurted cum into a glass or plastic cup. This would be done once in the morning, and twice at night.

Mistress added an order for me to milk myself at noon each day, when she was away at work. I did this, and she would always expect a cup of semen in the fridge when she got home. If there wasn't enough of it, she beat my balls.

So, I've taken to trying to masturbate twice while she is at work. It makes it harder to cum in the evening when she comes home, though. Usually the last cum at night has nothing but a little clear liquid.

I discovered why she was doing this just last night.

She had taken my cum from three or four ejaculations a day, and filled a glass with it. A parfait glass, that was in the refrigerator. This kept the semen fairly fresh. It is biological material, of course, and can decay.

The cup of cum was gross. I knew at some point she was going to have me drink it, and I shuddered at the thought. But there was little I could do. She continued to fill the glass up with a little more semen every day.

Then one day she put the parfait glass with my semen into the freezer.

The last night she pulled it out. It had a stick frozen into the middle and when she turned it upside down the cumsicle slid right out.

She handed it to me, and told me to eat it.

It was the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten, and once I ate some of Mistress Isabel's shit. This was worse. It took longer, as I had to keep licking the frozen bar of body fluid, tasting each little bit over and over. It took half an hour or more before the cumsicle was gone.

Mistress watched as I licked my cumsicle, and laughed at me when I made a face. If I slowed down or stopped, she caned my ass, leaving huge red welts.

I ate the cumsicle all the way to the end, biting off the final frozen bits.

A half hour later I vomited it all up. It didn't make me that sick to my stomach, it was more just the thought of it, I think. Though it is possible that not all the semen was as fresh as it could have been.

Today she made me cum inside a condom one last time. She says I will go back into chastity after this. I've learned my lesson about making women eat my cum. I have, too. I would never, ever ask a woman to eat my cum again. The very thought, the very sight of semen makes me ill to the stomach now. In fact, I've become afraid of orgasms, because it means producing some of that body fluid, and I don't want to do that any more.

I welcome chastity. I find myself hoping she will keep it on for a long time, and looking forward to her beating my balls while my cock is caged.

I know I've become mentally ill. It doesn't matter. I can't tell what is normal any more. I am simply living my life, doing what I know I must do. I must service Mistress Isabel.

Friday, May 27, 2016


I met my first female slave yesterday.

I've written how Mistress is lesbian, she really doesn't have an interest in men except as occasional amusement. I understand now that I am her toy, and never was actually her boyfriend. Even when we were dating, she had more relations with other women than with me.

Her friends are mostly all lesbians as well.

Her friend Christina came over the other day, and brought a submissive with her. I was very surprised, because this submissive was a girl. A young woman.

The doorbell range. I was chained but could answer it.

Christina came in, followed by another girl I had never seen before. She looked a little unhappy and was being led by a strap attached to a collar. The girl was dressed in jeans, like Christina, and had blonde hair. She was pretty, but seemed very quiet.

Christina greeted Mistress with a kiss, and then settled down for drinks and a talk. The girl stood behind Christina's chair and didn't sit. Mistress ignored her, as did Christina.

I continued my work around the house. Christina is used to my presence as a slave, so hardly notices a naked man doing chores in Mistresses home.

After a while I could tell they were talking about the girl. Apparently her name was Elisa, and she was a girlfriend of Christina's, but she was a submissive. She had taken on a submissive role to Christina, and was obedient to her.

While this made sense, I could also see that Elisa wasn't Christina's exclusive girlfriend. For one thing, I knew that Mistress and Christina frequently had sex. I had seen it from time to time, and in fact been forced to watch (a frustrating experience when I am restrained and in chastity).

Christina showed how Elisa had been trained, making her go through some rather humiliating exercises and then finally removing her clothes so she stood naked before the two women. I was in the other room, but could see what was happening.

"Has your slave had a good whipping recently?" Christina said.

"I whip him most evenings, at least when I am not tired. I have thought about developing a way to have him whip himself so I don't have to exert myself, but haven't come up with a practical method yet."

Christina clapped her hands. "Yes, yes! That is a delight. Well, I haven't given Elisa here a good thrashing in a while. Since she is naked perhaps... now?"

"Oh, yes!" said Mistress. "Actually, let's give them both a good ass thrashing. It will be fun to have the two slaves together!"

My cock hardened listening to this. It was a weird feeling though, to be put together with another slave, especially a female, while being whipped.

I was called in and put on my hands and knees.

"Over here, boy," Mistress directed. I was to crawl over to where Elisa stood.

Christina pushed Elisa down to her knees, right next to me. I tried hard not to think about the naked submissive girl next to me, for some reason it was humiliating. But... she was actually brushing up against me. I could feel her thigh against mine.

Both Christina and Mistress obtained riding crops and began on our asses. When Christina hit Elisa next to me, I felt her jerk and heard her grunt.

I glanced over. Her face was red and she wasn't looking at me. I realized she was probably lesbian, just like Christina and Mistress, and being next to a naked man and disciplined in front of him was humiliating and distasteful for her.

Mistress struck my ass, and I let out a grunt as well. The riding crop can hurt quite a bit, but especially when it strikes repeatedly in the same place. Mistress began whipping me with it over and over, and I could feel my ass burning.

Elisa was also moaning and grunting in pain as Christina struck her ass.

This went on for about 10 minutes, long enough to get my ass a nice fiery red and burning.

When the whipping stopped, Christina was telling Mistress a story of how Elisa hated men. At this, Mistress had an idea.

"Let's have Marc fuck her."

Christina was silent. I glanced over at Elisa. She wouldn't look at me, she was biting her lip and looking away.

"That would be humiliating, wouldn't it. Two slaves humping away at our direction?"

Mistress finally ordered me. "Marc. Kneel behind Elisa."

My cock was rock hard, as it usually is. I moved behind where Elisa knelt.

"Go up behind her as if you are going to mount this female slave."

I shuffled forward a couple of feet so my cock was within a half inch of touching Elisa's ass, but not quite, not yet.

"Good boy. Now, let your cock slide across her ass and pussy."

I leaned forward and my cock slid on Elisa's smooth, fine ass. It felt really good, but at that first touch I could feel Elisa wince and shy away. She obviously was not enjoying this.

"She doesn't like cock, does she?" Mistress said.

"Hates it," Christina said. "This will be an exercise in obedience for her. Marc, push your cock between her legs, slide it over her pussy, but don't go inside."

Elisa whimpered, and let out one word. "Please..."

I slid my cock over the soft flesh of her pussy from behind. It felt really, really good. My cock had not come in contact with any pussy for several months and was usually in chastity.

Christina ordered me. "Slide your cock between her ass cheeks. Masturbate it there."

My cock slid over her puckering anus, between her cheeks, and I rubbed up and down several times. I could have come that way if I had kept going, but Mistress stopped me.

"Now, mount her. Mount her like a dog on a bitch."

Elisa sobbed at this, crying. "No, please mistress!"  I could tell she really didn't want to do this.

"Do it, Marc!" I had hesitated when Elisa started crying, but at this barked order I leaned over Elisa's form and thrust my cock into her pussy. It was a struggle getting it in. She wasn't aroused and was dry.

"Push, Marc! Get in there. Mount the bitch!" Christina was barking at me.

I did. I pushed and mounted and got inside. and as I pushed harder and mounted Elisa from the back she slid down, unable to take the force of my body on her. She was on her hands and knees, but slowly went down to her elbows.

This position was actually a little easier for me, if I lowered myself and lay on top of her back.

I felt the sharp sting of the riding crop. I wasn't thrusting. The pain got my hips going and I started pushing in and out. Elisa grunted and moaned as she cried quietly at the humiliation. I didn't like being directed to fuck a woman like this, I felt used and humiliated as well.

Mistress continued whipping my ass as I thrust into Christina, and she continued to cry quietly, grunting with my thrusts.

"Do not cum!" Mistress ordered. "Do not cum unless you receive permission!"

I understood. This was a strict rule Mistress had. I was always to control my cums, and this was no different. I relaxed a bit, trying to make sure I didn't have an orgasm, but continued thrusting.

Finally, I was directed to stop. "Leave your cock in her."

I stayed in position with my cock inside Elisa, not moving. Mistress checked carefully to make sure I was still inside.  Elisa remained with her head down, accepting the violation of her body at her mistress's order.

Mistress ran her riding crop over my body as I knelt behind Elisa, not moving. My cock remained hard, but I did not move it. Not even when Mistress struck me again with the crop, on my chest, on my ass, on my balls, on my stomach. Suddenly and without warning.

Over and over, the crop moved over my body, then Elisa's body, and struck at random. When the crop slapped Elisa's back, she cried out in pain and jerked, and my cock slid inside of her, but only then was there any movement.

Finally Christina intervened.

"She needs to learn how to take cock in her mouth."

"No! Please mistress!" Elisa immediately blurted out.

"Well, that clinches it! You are never to tell me no!" Christina said vehemently. "Marc, on your back."

I rolled over onto my back. At Christina's direction, Elisa climbed over me, straddled my face with her legs.

"Take him in your mouth!" Said Christina, barking the order.

Slowly, reluctantly, Elisa took my cock in her hand. I felt her lips surround the tip of my cock, and then felt it slide inside. Her tongue worked, as did her throat as it grasped and squeezed my member.

"Oh, fuck!" I said involuntarily, if felt so good.

Mistress laughed. "You like that, do you Marc? Been a while since you've been inside a woman."

Christina was watching Elisa's performance carefully. "Take him, use your tongue. Slide him deep. Deeper! Feel your lips hit his ballsack! That's it, now out, all the way. Lips around the head. Deep inside again, faster!"

It was turned out to be a really good blow job and I moaned and enjoyed it, even though Elisa was probably sick to her stomach at that point.

"Permission to cum!" I grunted to Mistress. I would not be able to hold it much longer.

"Permission granted. Cum insider her throat."

Elisa made some noises of protest that I couldn't hear because her mouth was full.

Elisa's pussy was just above my face and was wet. I think she had involuntarily become aroused by being forced to fuck a guy. She was into humiliation.

I came then, grunting and thrusting up inside Elisa's mouth so that my load of warm, sticky sperm shot out into her throat. She swallowed convulsively as the liquid filled her throat.

When it was over, I lay with Elisa over me, and she released my cock but stayed in position. She had been obedient. I had been used as a tool of humiliation and debasement.

Christina asked Mistress, "Is he capable of more than one cum?"

Mistress sounded proud as she answered, "Oh yes, he actually can cum up to three times without loosing his erection. Not that I allow it, usually."

Christina barked a new order.

"Take her from behind. Mount her. Rape her! Cum inside her! Do it roughly, don't let her stop you!"

"Do it, Marc," Mistress said.

I had been ordered. I rolled over. Elisa looked frightened. She didn't fight, not really. She put up a bit of a struggle but she was submissive. She was accepting her fate.

With one arm held firmly behind her back I forced her over and down, and then guided my cock into her. She was crying, and begged just once. "Please, no mistress, don't do this to me!"

But I was inside and shoving as hard as I could. Elisa bounced, her boobs swaying back and forth, ripples going across her ass and lower back like sound waves from each slamming thrust of my body.

It was over quickly. Unrestrained like that, I came very quickly. I pumped a load of sperm into Elisa's cunt. When she felt it, she moaned and cried out.

Thing was, she was wet. I knew she was enjoying being taken at some level, being dominated, because she had obeyed, and she had become quite aroused during the scene.

After Christina had taken Elisa and her tear stained face home, Mistress explained that even though I had been instructed to do it, there were consequences for using my cock inside another woman. It didn't matter that Mistress had ordered it, I was still to be punished.

She tied me to the wall in the bedroom and gave me 20 lashes with the single tail whip. What with the pain from the riding crop on my ass, and the whip on my back, my entire body was on fire for the next day.

Mistress can be very cruel. As I sit here writing this now, my ass still hurts and my back is quite sore.

But my cock is hard.