Monday, March 14, 2016

Losing Independence

Isabel found out I am unemployed. I hadn't intended to tell her, it just spilled out. and the results have changed my life.

She has always insisted that I pay for everything that we do together. If we go out to eat, I pay. If we go to a show, I pay. We went to Las Vegas once, and I paid for the hotel, the dinners, the show, everything. That one cost me almost $4,000 for a weekend. 

I can't say no to her, she really doesn't allow it. I mean, saying know to her is worse than saying no to a brick wall. Saying no just makes her unhappy and Isabel unhappy is never a good thing. The last time I suggested that she pay for something was when we went to see The Illusionists. Tickets were $162 each, and she has contacts that I know could get her a 50% discount.

When I suggested she buy the tickets and I would buy the dinner, she suggested I wasn't a man. She said I was a sissy boy that needed a good fucking and she pulled out her strapon, the biggest she has, and proceeded to ream my ass for a half hour. She didn't just do that though, she kept slapping my balls, grabbing and twisting them until I thought the throbbing pain was going to make me insane. 

My ass bled for three days after that one.

So this time she wanted me to take her to Ruth's Chris. That place would set me back $250 at least, with wine. So I suggested she pay, because I wasn't getting a paycheck and money was tight.

She looked at me.

"What? You aren't getting a paycheck? Explain." 

I sort of hung my head. "Well, I was fired."

"When?"

"Two... two months ago." I couldn't look her in the eyes.

"Marc! You lost your job two months ago and you are just telling me now? I thought we were together, that we had some sort of relationship here. Instead I discover you've been lying to me for two months about something this important?!"

She was red faced angry, not a good thing at all.

I had let it slip and had to admit to it. I have been unemployed for two months and frankly have run out of cash. She had drained me before I lost my job with her demands, and now she had more or less drained me dry. 

"You little heap of shit. I trust you, and this is what happens. You are nothing but a pile of diarrhea. Slime. Get down on your knees and kiss my feet for even considering letting you into my house!"

I was already down on my knees, so I leaned down and kissed her feet. She grabbed my hair and dragged me into The Room, the one where she hurts me. 

"Please Isabel, I was just trying to get a new job before I told you, I wanted you to be proud, I --"

"Shut the fuck up Marc."

She threw me up against the wall.

"You are such a fucking worthless piece of crap, I don't know why I waste my time with you. Now you have lost your job," here she kneed me in the balls and I screamed, "and you can't even contribute to our relationship like the man you claim to be," she rammed her knee into my balls again, "but you have been hiding this from me for two fucking months!"

She kicked my balls, and I cried out, tears coming to my eyes.

I tried to crawl away, after being kneed in the groin three times, hard, I had fallen to my hands and knees and felt like I was going to vomit. The pain was terrible. All I wanted was to get away from Isabel and her anger.

Isabel is incredibly strong. She grabbed me, and pulled me by my hair, making me stand up again, punching me in the chest to straighten me up against the wall.

Holding my shoulders back against the wall, she started kneeing me in the groin again, over and over.

"You worthless piece of meat."

She slammed her knee into my balls.

"You deserve nothing. You are nothing. Nothing but a worm."

Her knee came up repeatedly, over and over. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand. She held me up as she continued to rant and call me names, and finally all the strength left from my legs and I couldn't stand any more, and simply fell straight down to the ground, in agony.

I've never seen her so angry. Not even when she found out I was fucking Val; for some reason this was worse.

"I can't trust you. You know that? You are less than a man, you truly are a dog, a pet, worth nothing but to fetch things."

I was still on my hands and knees, retching. She left me there for a while, recovering from the ball busting she had taken out on me. When my stomach had recovered a little, she sat me down on a chair and tied my arms to the back, out of the way.

She then took a board and placed it on my lap, a long with a set of nails and a hammer. I was still crying from the ball beating, and was shaking, wondering what she was going to do.

"So, Marc. How much money do you have left?"

She was taking the heavy flesh of my scrotum and stretching it out over the board.

"I... uh... about $157 in checking... no savings..."

She positioned one nail over my scrotal flesh and pounded the nail through it into the board. It didn't hurt as much as when she kneed my balls because it was just my scrotal flesh, but I still cried out.

"And what is your credit card debt?"

"Um... $2,300 on the Visa..."

A second nail went into my flesh, pulling it tight and nailing it down onto the board.

"I see. And your car payment?"

The third nail was poised and ready and I winced. "It's... $220 a month, there's $3,000 left on the loan..."

Wham! The third nail went through and I screamed as my scrotum stretched and was nailed to the board.

"And what are you planning to do with me? You can no longer live up to your obligations as a boyfriend, can you?"

"I can, Isabel, I am going to find a way, I will move and sell the car..."

Wham! A forth nail rammed through my soft flesh and I sobbed as I saw my ballsack stretched out on the board before my eyes.

By the time she was done going over my financial situation I had about 7 nails through my scrotum, which was stretched wide on the board, the lumps of my sore testicles floating free behind the nails.

Thank goodness she didn't actually nail my balls. I was really worried she was going to do that.

"So Marc, what are you doing to get yourself back on your feet?"

I was in pain and it was hard to talk. I shook my head. "I am working... applying for jobs... something will happen... please..."

Isabel nailed the board to the arms of the chair, and thus I was nailed to the chair, unable to move. My testicles began to feel a little better, and the soreness from where the nails were driven through my flesh sort of throbbed but wasn't that bad compared to getting ball busted.

I could hear her out in the living room, on the phone. I sat and waited, wondering what she was doing, what would happen next. Finally, she came back in and started removing the nails with the claw part of the hammer. They really hurt coming out.

"I've arranged to buy out the lease on your apartment, and movers will be at your place this weekend to vacate. You are moving in with me."

I sort of looked at her beauty in a haze of pain and confusing. Move in with Isabel? Was this... a dream? A nightmare?

"Since you are not able to pay rent and are no longer fully a man, you will reside and work here full time doing things that I assign, as I please. We will sell your car to pay off your credit card debts."

All but two of the nails had come out. I was silent.

"There is no need for you to return to your apartment, as you live here now and you don't need clothes while you are here. Other items you need will be delivered this weekend."

"But... my... How will I go out without clothes? What about my laptop?"

"You won't be going out, so you won't need clothes. Maybe later, but not now. I will get your laptop and anything else of value."

The last nail came out.

"Kneel before me."

I knelt, showing obedience.

"Kiss my boots."

I kissed Isabel's boots, licking them.

She put me into a cage, a heavier, smaller one. My hands were still bound behind my back. The cage had only enough room for me to kneel, all bunched up in a ball, head down. I couldn't move. I started to panic but she hit me with a cane and told me to shut up.

That cage was so awful. Cramped, unable to move at all, it actually hurt and I got claustrophobia and began to beg to be let out. In response she put a blanket over the cage to cover me, as if I was some bird being told to go to sleep. Except birds have cages that have a lot more room.

I stayed in the cage all evening, night and the next morning. She didn't let me out when she went to work.

I urinated in the cage, and defecated. There was no choice. It stunk.

When she came home from work I was crying, and she let me out. I couldn't walk at first, my body was cramping. I lay and crawled on the floor for a while. Isabel called me a worm again. I probably looked like one.

I finally got up. She had brought some basic clothes over, and my laptop and a few toiletries.

"Thank you Isabel. I am sorry I've inconvenienced you."

"As well you should be, worm. If you have a interview or need to go out for any reason, you must obtain permission from me. You are to stay in the house, naked, at all times unless a trip out is approved. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Isabel."

"Spend at least two hours a day looking for a job. Until you can pay your way again, you will be working here, contributing to this household. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Isabel."

And that was that. It's been three days now. I live, eat, sleep, work here at Isabel's house. I am always naked, never clothed. I work my ass off for her, and when I am not working I am allowed time to search for a job, or I am in a cage, sometimes I get chained up.

I hope seriously I can get a job, anything, so I can regain some of my independence. Because right now I am basically Isabel's slave.

I've thought of Kim a few times. We were on the rocks anyway, but she has got to wonder what happened to me. I've just sort of disappeared. I can't bring myself to call her though, and let her know what has happened. I can't call my sister either. This whole thing is just too humiliating.

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